Courageous

I watched Courageous the movie today.  I pray daily that my boys will grow into fine, healthy men with strong character in spite of all that they have been through.  I hate that their dad makes so little effort to see them and spend time with them.  I actually thought to myself, if only he could see this movie... maybe he would understand what his absence is doing to them. 

I went so far as to devise a plan:  I would mail the movie to him anonymously... I could send it to a friend in some other part of the country and have them drop it in some out of the way mail box addressed to him.  In my little fantasy he would watch it and have an ah-ha moment and begin to mend the relationship with his children.

But I know he probably wouldn't watch it... and if he started to he wouldn't watch it all the way through... and if by some chance he did...  he most likely would not take from it what I hope he would.

Then I had an ah-ha moment of my own... and I prayed for him.  I prayed that the Lord will work in him to help him see that his children need more of him.  I made a promise to myself that I am going to pray that same prayer again and again, each day.  ...and when I get frustrated by something he has done or that he hasn't done I am going to pray it again.  Hopefully when ever a thought of him pops into my head that prayer will follow.

I need to GAL

GAL = Get a Life... 

I went shopping and out to dinner Tuesday night with my youngest son and the boy reminded me that it has been quite a while since I went out and did anything.

I had been at least going to a movie pretty often and now  I can't remember the last time I even did that.  So I am promising myself that I will do something once a week.

These are the rules:

It must be out of the house (a real challenge for me at this time of year).

It can be with my kids but not for my kids.

Tomorrow I am meeting a friend for breakfast at Royal Bagel ~ that sounds like a good start. 

Getting there

okay so I admit I am a little obsessed with getting this last bit of debt paid off and I am so close I can hardly stand it!

365 days......

I was leery that I would, at the very least, be sad today since it was exactly a year ago that a judge signed the decree ending my marriage.  But I have actually been pretty okay.

I had the opportunity to talk to the man who was the facilitator of the Divorce Care class I attended 2-1/2 years ago.  He became a Christian Counselor after his own divorce and I really respect him.  He is now married to a lovely lady and they have what seems to be the kind of relationship I hope for one day.

Bill told me about establishing a multi-church counseling center, that he has gotten a federal grant to begin.  He mentioned there will be all sorts of counseling offered and my eyes lit up when he said "including financial".  Then Bill said the magic words, "would you be interested in volunteering?"

I have been thinking I would like to get involved in teaching Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University course and especially Generation Change (for youths).  Just yesterday I was looking on Dave's website, trying to decide if I should just buy the course and take my kids through it myself, since there does not seem to be a place locally that offers it.

Maybe I am jumping way ahead, but I do hope that Bill will consider me for this.  I think I would be very good at it and I have been searching for a way to serve.

Dumping Debt:  Balance Remaining $4,628.86

When a person chooses to have a family (a spouse and children) shouldn't every decision going forward be made for the good of the entire family?

Tomorrow is a big day

In September 2005 we closed on a piece of property in Michigan.  
25 acres where we planned to eventually build our retirement dream home.
However that was one more dream not meant to be.
Tomorrow we close on the sale of that property.
This is the last asset to be sold.

We are selling it at a loss as we have done everything.  
...very bittersweet.
I am thankful to be almost out of debt.  

But the question remains...

why did this have to be?

DEBT...

or lack there of, will be one thing to bring me great joy!

On December 1, 2008 I discovered something that would eventually change my life forever.  I don't want to go in to it on this blog right now, but someday I might.  This discovery prompted me to make a spreadsheet of all of our debt.  I always knew how deep in we were, but seeing that total coupled with my new found information was terrifying!

$445,296.95 

• 69% of that was our mortgage and home equity loan. 
• 19% was owed on 7 credit cards
• 9% accounted for loans on two vehicles
• 3% were loans we had taken against our retirement accounts :(

There you have it... I put it out here for all the world to see (if they happen to stumble on my blog that is).

The good news is that three years later that total had been brought down to $54,852.76 and if all goes as planned by March of 2012 will be completely wiped out!

2012

I have high hopes for this coming year.  I already have so much to be grateful for, and I will spend a lot of time mentioning those things.  But my focus is going to be finding that which brings me joy.  

I should know what that is by now, but sadly I really have no clue.

Blogging is new for me.  I have wanted to start for quite a while but wasn't really sure where to begin.  
So please bear with me as I figure this out.